Starting New

It's time for me to start new, refresh myself, and refocus.

I have been trying really hard to focus on the things we are blessed with and the things we have. But it seems like no matter how hard I try those selfish thoughts like 'How are we going to get out of this?' and 'Why is this happening to us' keep coming back again and again into my head. It seems like the theme in church lately has been Gratitude. And not just because of Thanksgiving, it started a few months back. I know everyone is struggling, we all are in our own ways. I feel so selfish feeling this way because I know we aren't alone in this.

Today was one of those days. I haven't been this unproductive in a long time. When I have a lot of stress on my mind I tend to shut down and in order to not think about whatever is happening I sleep. Yes I know it's lazy and cowardly but I sleep as much as I can to keep the stress from my mind.

So this is me trying to reboot myself and get going again. I'm going to start again by COUNTING MY BLESSINGS. I KNOW I have many to be thankful for but I am going to do this every day that I can remember, so I don't allow myself to FORGET and have days like today.

Blessing 1. I am SO grateful for the best husband in the world. He loves me. He is a worthy priesthood holder. He is a great dad. He provides for us the best he can. He is patient with me. He ALWAYS apologizes even if he didn't do something wrong. We are perfect for eachother in everyway. He is my eternal companion.